Do You Mind Turning 50?

“Do you mind turning 50?” she asked.

The irony of this question was simply delicious. I was sitting in the chair while my talented young hair stylist applied color to the roots of my hair. I had mentioned a milestone birthday that was fast approaching. We’re doing this little touchup every four weeks now in an attempt to keep the inevitable from taking hold. It’s not that I mind gray hair. I just mind MY gray hair. I have a shock of silver that sticks up from the crown of my head, making me look like Pepe Le Pew’s love child.

“Do you mind turning 50?”

I’d never lingered on my age before. My teens and twenties were mostly spent wishing I were older so I could get on with things. The thirties and forties went by in a happy blur of marriage, babies, diapers, bottles, then dance lessons, softball, band competitions and graduations. I even squeezed in a college degree, and a brief entrance into and departure from the job market.

“Do you mind turning 50?”

Not long ago my mom sent me a birthday present -- a subscription to More magazine. Have you seen it? There’s always some extraordinary 50-something woman on the cover looking very sleek, powerful, sexy, wealthy, and filled with passion about this new phase in her life. The accompanying article is always very reassuring about how this could be you too. Personally, I have my doubts that their lives are always so glamorous. Where is the issue with the cover girl sitting on the sofa on a Monday night in a chocolate cake induced haze watching trash television she would never in a million years have permitted her children to watch? I’d like to see someone fess up to that “passion” for once.

“Do you mind turning 50?”

I feel like a slalom skier who put everything into getting down the hill. Barreling along with joy, fear, excitement, panic, delight, and an absolute certainty that this is where she was meant to go. Now I’ve screeched to a halt at the bottom of the mountain and it’s cold, clear, and quiet. I look back up at the mountain and wonder. Do I have the energy and desire to head up and try another trail? Or do I just want to coast over to the lodge for some cocoa and a snooze?

“Do you mind turning 50?”